I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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