There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
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normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
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He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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