He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
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He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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