remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
