and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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