I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
