We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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