I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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