We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
