The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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