i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize