Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We named our party play list daddy issues
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
