apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
