Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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