Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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