What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
