Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
