I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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