According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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