We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
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He felt like a one man threesome
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
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His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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