I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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