I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
