Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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