Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
