I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
