Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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