booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
