I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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