Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
