when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
