Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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