Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
