I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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