I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
