Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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