We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We're too hungover to prance.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize