You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
