I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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