If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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