I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
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