I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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