For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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