and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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