I heard we made out
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
