did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
