i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
