The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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