I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
