i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
