turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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