I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
