Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
