This is not my ceiling
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
