Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
