dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
