I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
