She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
