you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
