Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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