Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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