If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
