He asked to "fluff my boner.."
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
