Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I deserve this hangover.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
