i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
