How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
