I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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