I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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