he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it's like heaven, but drunker
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
