Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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